Ode to Rachel

There are times in life when, we as human beings, need each other, rely on one another more than normal everyday interactions oblige. Whether due to the nature of the individual or the human population in general, we aren’t always open about when we need this help or companionship of our fellow kind. Basically, not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve. And suppose a person is open about their discontent, well again, our fastidious species may not understand an individual’s signals; or even more complicated one may chose not to understand. The last couple months of my life have been wrought in hard times. So much has happened in what seems like a second of my life I feel it would take me pages to explain, but I digress and maintain that I have a good life, an amazing life, better than most, in fact.
So, death especially is something even your closest friends and relatives will run away from, readily sweeping it under a rug of disregard. This fact is something I have come to realize first hand, and at first I was hurt by the lack of sympathy and understanding from some of my closest friends. Then I was angry when I noticed they expected me to completely heal within a couple weeks and even overlooked my feelings, but eventually I became complacent and stopped caring, much like they had.
Lucky for me, someone in my life sensed my tiny cry for help, sensed me crushing under my emotions. I often think about the first time I met Rachel. I never would have imagined she would have become such an amazing friend. I was 18 and I was still in denial about moving to Nevada almost a 2 years earlier from Southern Illinois. So much so, all my friends were in Illinois, and I refused to make an effort to make new ones: I hated the high desert. But life goes on and my dad gave me a job application for a preclinical laboratory as a research scientist assistant. I got the job and Rachel was my co-worker, my trainer. She was organized and did her job to the best of her ability. She intimidated me, not as a person, but as a coworker, I never thought I’d be able to live up to her standards, I thought once I was trained I’d be deemed incompetent and fired. I worked at that lab for 6 years…but only about 6 months with Rachel. She had to quit work after she collapsed and was sent to the ER while I was in Hazcom training and her body did not recover, she kept getting sick. Rachel was diagnosed with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). It took months and months and countless doctors to diagnose her.
Rachel’s strong will and grace never ceased to amaze me while she endured misdiagnoses and the possibility of never having her life back again…and her kindness and optimism are traits I strive for everyday. I wish I could explain in words what a remarkable person Rachel is, but suffice to say she lives her life the way I try to everyday…and especially lately, I wonder where I would be without her friendship?
While I was wallowing in my pit of self despair a couple months ago worried about things that really didn’t need to be worried about, Rachel was there, with a smile and a hug, willing to talk about whatever I wanted to talk about. Rachel was not even afraid of what most friends and family balk at the very mention of, but jumped in head first to be with me and my family just after my brother passed. She justified my feelings and quieted my worries. Rachel told me once that life is cyclical, that I was there for her when I needed her and that she was there for me when I needed her…but I can’t elaborate to you the comfort Rachel has brought to me and my family and I feel that my maintaining our friendship after she was diagnosed with POTS and my meager  acts of sympathy during her sister’s passing are no reimbursement for what she’s done for me today. Rachel is a saint. She is a beautiful person and I am so lucky to have her as my friend.

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